Variations on a Theme
by Cassandra Mulder
Summary: Some things change. Results may vary. LL
1. Leaning on Luke

**Title: **Variations on a Theme (1/4)  
  
**Author: **Cassandra Mulder  
  
**E-mail/Feedback: **Loved and fawned over here or dana[underscore]mulder32[at]yahoo[dot]com  
  
**Rating: **PG-13  
  
**Spoilers: **4.22 "Raincoats and Recipes"  
  
**Classification: **Gilmore Girls; Luke/Lorelai; post-finale  
  
**Disclaimer: **"Gilmore Girls" and the characters within belong to Amy Sherman-Palladino, Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions, Hofflund/Polone, and the WB. No infringement is intended.  
  
**Distribution: **My site, Bound, ff.net, anyone else please ask.  
  
**Written: **May 20 - 30, 2004  
  
**Summary: **Some things change, results may vary.  
  
**A/N: **Yeah, yeah, it's another post-finale fic. But I had to do one, so what did you want? I'm hoping this one is a little different, but I wouldn't know since I've been trying not to read many till this was finished. Remember, feedback is always appreciated. ;)

* * *

Lorelai thought it was amazing how one's life could change so suddenly. One moment, she had seen everything falling into place. She had the inn of her dreams, the man who'd been right in front of her face all along, and in one split second when she had walked through her own front door, her world had been blown to pieces.  
  
There was Rory, her sweet, sensible daughter, and the one boy that she had thought she could trust with her baby girl, and she couldn't help thinking they had both lost their minds. Especially Rory, who seemed to be in the world's deepest state of denial, and she wasn't sure she could talk any sense into her again.  
  
But looking at her daughter now, collapsed in the middle of the front walk, as angry and disappointed as she was, she still couldn't help but feel her pain. She always had. When Rory hurt, she hurt, and this had to be the worst either of them had ever felt.   
  
Lorelai walked over to where she was sobbing on the ground, and put her arms firmly around her shoulders and picked her up. Rory instinctively wrapped her arms around her mother, and Lorelai let her cry. Reality had come crashing down, and this night wouldn't get any easier.  
  
When Rory's sobs had subsided, Lorelai had quietly insisted that they drive back to the Dragonfly and go to bed. There was no way she was spending the night at the house when she had guests, and she wasn't going to let Rory spend it there alone in that bed.  
  
As they approached the inn, Lorelai saw Luke sitting on the front steps, bathed in the glow of the porch light, and managed a weak smile in his direction. As she walked past, her arm tightly around Rory, she whispered, "I'll be right down", and walked through the door, shutting it quietly behind her.  
  
She made sure Rory was settled, and by the time Lorelai had changed into track pants and a hoodie, she had cried herself to sleep. She sighed as she stroked her daughter's hair, planted a kiss on her cheek, and crept out of the room, and back downstairs. She had to talk to somebody, and right now she knew she had never needed anyone like she needed Luke.  
  
Checking her reflection in the mirror at the bottom of the staircase made her sigh. For a moment she thought she looked old, like a mother should. She blinked, shook her head, and it all went away. She just looked tired. Pushing a lock of hair behind one ear, she steeled herself to go out and talk to Luke. He'd seen her looking worse, and he probably would again. None of that really mattered now.  
  
Lorelai went out onto the porch, where Luke was still patiently waiting for her, which was a surprise in itself. Luke didn't usually have much patience for anything. Well, he must've always had patience when it came to her, she realized.  
  
"Hey," she said quietly as she sat down next to him.  
  
"Hey," he said, turning to look at her. He could instantly tell something was wrong. "You okay?"  
  
"I..." She didn't know where to start. "I think I just need a minute." She saw him nod out of the corner of her eye. "You find Kirk all right?"  
  
"Oh yeah... He was captured and returned to his room without incident, thank God." He shuddered. "I think Lulu will be sleeping with one eye open the rest of the night."  
  
"That poor girl," Lorelai sympathized.  
  
Luke nodded again.  
  
"Oh!" she smacked her forehead. "Where is Jason? Is he still here?"  
  
"Uh, no. I think he was persuaded to go away. Finally."  
  
She gave him a sly look, and nudged him with her elbow. "You're beating off the competition already?"  
  
"Lorelai..."  
  
"Thank you, Luke. Really. I couldn't handle any more tonight."  
  
"Well, it has been some night," he mused.  
  
"Yeah, well, you wouldn't even begin to believe it," she said tiredly.  
  
He turned to her again, and awkwardly took her hand. Lorelai looked down as he tangled his fingers in hers, and tried to fight off the butterflies in her stomach. The way he was making her feel was starting to worry her. She'd never been thrown into a state of sheer lunacy by anyone else, no matter what everyone thought. It was just Luke, why had she turned into a total basketcase around him?  
  
She took a calming breath and looked up at him.  
  
"Whatever it is, you can tell me, Lorelai," he said so sincerely, and with such concern, that tears sprang to her eyes.  
  
"I know," she said, swiping at her eyes with her free hand. "I, uh... Well, after you ran after Kirk, I went to the house to get some band-aids and my camera, and to find Rory because she was taking forever, and then I found out why. I mean, why she was taking forever." She squeezed his hand a little tighter. "She, um, she was with Dean, and I don't mean they were sitting in the kitchen chatting and drinking lemonade."  
  
Luke was frowning, waiting to see where Lorelai was going with this.  
  
"They had..." She swallowed hard. "They slept together. Well, I don't believe there was any sleep involved, but you know what I mean."  
  
She felt Luke's whole body tense next to her, and put her other hand on top of their joined ones.  
  
"If you're feeling the urge to pull Dean's head off right now, I can understand that, Luke. But it won't do any good. It was just as much Rory's fault as it was his. Even though she of all people should've known better. I thought I had raised her to know better, but now I just don't know."  
  
Luke relaxed a little bit, even if he did want to pull Dean's head off. "Don't do that, Lorelai. You can't doubt your parenting skills now. As much as we both hate to see it, maybe this whole town hates to see it, Rory's an adult. She's not a little girl anymore, and she made a mistake. Dean helped her make that mistake, and I can't promise I'm not going to help him lose a few teeth the next time I see him."  
  
"That won't draw attention to the situation at all," Lorelai smirked.  
  
Luke shook his head. He had no idea what was going on anymore. Things were usually crazy around Stars Hollow, but tonight must've been a full moon. Not that he kept up or could tell, since it had become cloudy that evening.  
  
"Are you two okay?"  
  
"I don't know," she said, her head hanging. "I yelled at her, she yelled at me... She cried herself to sleep, Luke, and there was nothing I could do. I'm Mom, I'm supposed to be able to fix it, but there's _nothing_ I can do this time. There's no way it can be fixed." There was silence for a moment. "Unless I could fly around the world backwards and reverse time like Superman, and..." she trailed off. "No, I definitely can't do that..." There were tears in her eyes again, and she really looked like she was about to fall apart this time.  
  
Luke put his arms around her, and she leaned into his chest. This part wasn't awkward or new at all.  
  
"When did she grow up, Luke?" she asked pitifully through her sobs.  
  
He rocked her slightly and rubbed her back. "I don't know, Lorelai. Time tricks you like that. It just happens."  
  
After a few minutes her tears receded, and she sat up, doing her best to offer him a watery smile. "This isn't the best time to be dumping something like this on you, you probably..."  
  
He put two fingers to her lips to make her be quiet. "You're not. And you know you can come to me any time, Lorelai. No matter what. I am always going to be here for you, that's something you've gotta remember."  
  
She nodded silently, and he removed his fingers. _Why haven't I ever seen that in his eyes before? _she thought. _It must've always been there, he's always taken care of me. Of us._"I know. I do. It's just - we haven't really talked about earlier or anything, and..." She untangled herself from him, pushing back her hair and wiping her eyes. She was sure she looked a mess, and at the moment she couldn't think straight.   
  
"I'm sorry if I freaked you out."  
  
She hadn't been expecting that. She laughed nervously. "That's not exactly the way I would put it."  
  
"No?"  
  
"No," she shook her head. "I mean, I had my suspicions, I just wasn't really expecting... kissing," she said on a giggle.  
  
"And now you're giggling..."  
  
"Oh, Luke, c'mon, I'm always giggling. Don't you know me at all?"  
  
"Yeah, and that's what scares me," he retorted, but he was only half-joking.  
  
"You know me better than anybody. Well, except for Rory maybe."  
  
"I guess so," he said. "And you know me better than anybody period."  
  
She laughed. "Don't take this the wrong way, but that's not hard to do, Luke."  
  
"I know," he sighed.  
  
"I want to know you better though. I want..." She lifted a hand to his face, caressing his cheek, and she saw the hunger there in his eyes again, just as it had been after she kissed him.  
  
He reached over and ran his hand underneath her thick hair, around the back of her neck, and drew her to him. His lips met hers and her world exploded all over again, only this time in a good way. This kiss was hungrier, more desperate, and if one of them didn't pull away there would be quite a show right there on the porch for all the guests to see.  
  
When they finally broke apart, all Lorelai could do was try to catch her breath. If she'd known he was such a fantastic kisser, she might've taken up the practice years ago. "Whoa," she breathed.  
  
Luke began to laugh.  
  
"Why didn't you tell me you could do that?" she demanded, swatting his arm.  
  
"You never asked."  
  
"How clueless am I?"  
  
He raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Don't answer that," she responded quickly. She grabbed Luke's arm and looked at his watch. "God, it's late. I'm exhausted, but I don't really want to go to bed. But there's still stuff to do tomorrow, and Rory needs more than a zombie, so..."  
  
"Get your beauty rest," Luke encouraged. "Not like you need it," he added with a wink.  
  
"You are just..." she paused, looking at him. "...the best man on earth," she finished, wrapping her arms around him.   
  
"I don't know about that," he murmured into her hair, holding her.   
  
"No, you are, you really are, Luke," she said pulling back and kissing him again, gently, before she stood up. "And I'm going up, because I could sit here and do that all night long, and there'd be no rest at all."  
  
She turned to walk away, but he caught her hand.  
  
"We'll talk tomorrow?"  
  
"Absolutely."  
  
"Good luck with Rory, and I'm here if you need me," he said as he reluctantly let her go.  
  
"I know, Luke. Thank you," she said before she turned to walk inside.  
  
He turned to watch her go, hoping this wouldn't all turn out to be a dream come daylight. 


	2. Telling Sookie

Variations on a Theme (2/4)

See Chapter 1 for all headers and disclaimers.

**A/N: **Thanks to everyone for the wonderful feedback on chapter 1. :) I usually respond to every review individually, but lack of e-mail addys here can make that difficult, so I just wanted to let you know it's appreciated.

* * *

Lorelai walked into the kitchen of the Dragonfly, and made a beeline for the coffee pot. Considering it was 6:30 a.m. and she hadn't slept much, she was thinking about chugging it from the carafe.  
  
She decided against that, and grabbed a large mug from the cabinet in front of her.  
  
Sookie came through the swinging door as Lorelai was pouring.   
  
"Hey, sweetie, I didn't expect you to be up quite this early."  
  
Lorelai just turned around and gave her a small smile before taking a sip of her coffee.  
  
"Oh my gosh, you look awful, Lorelai! What's wrong?"  
  
"Thanks, Sook."  
  
"No, I mean, did you even sleep?"  
  
"Not a lot, no. Sit down, there's stuff to tell you."  
  
"Since last night?"  
  
"Oh yeah," Lorelai deadpanned.  
  
They both took a seat at the small table in the corner of the kitchen.  
  
"Good news or bad news?" Sookie asked cautiously.  
  
"Good and bad. But I should start with the good, since that's how it happened to me."  
  
Sookie nodded.  
  
"Luke kissed me," Lorelai blurted out.  
  
Her best friend sat stunned for a moment before she broke into a grin. "Eeeeeeeeeeeee!" she squealed.  
  
"I know," Lorelai laughed.  
  
"But how in the world...?"  
  
"I don't know, Sookie. He just... made a move, sort of out of nowhere after his sister's wedding. I wasn't entirely sure what was going on, but apparently seeing Jason last night got him all riled up, and... anyway, he kissed me, I kissed him... we kissed... There may have been violins, I'm not sure."  
  
"Wow," Sookie said in amazement. "It's about time!"  
  
"Sookie!"  
  
"It's just the truth, honey, don't 'Sookie!' me."  
  
Lorelai just shook her head and all but guzzled her cooling coffee.  
  
"So, how was he?" Sookie grinned while asking the inevitable question.  
  
Lorelai sat her mug down and stared into space a few seconds. "He was amazing," she said finally, a faraway look in her eyes.  
  
"You're gone, hon."  
  
"Oh, you don't have to tell me. I've been a basketcase ever since he asked me out! Running into things... I crashed into a table at the diner the other day, for no good reason other than he walked up to me. Just like he's done a million times before, and hi! Suddenly I have no knees."  
  
Sookie laughed.  
  
"Then, I couldn't even talk to him half the time. He'd say something, and I'd go all Dory in _Finding Nemo_, and I could barely remember my own name, much less his, and... God, he must think I'm crazy."  
  
"He knows you are, and he loves you anyway."  
  
"Now, Sook..."  
  
"He does, Lorelai. You already know that 'cause you love him, too. It's okay, sweetie, it's not like you just met."  
  
"I know. It's just scary and weird and exciting... all at once. I can't screw this up, Sookie. What if I screw this up? I can't lose him, not him," she said, worry written all over her face.  
  
"You're not going to," her friend reassured her, putting a hand over one of hers where it lay on the table. "We won't let you," she added with a wink. "Most importantly, Luke's not going to let you. You're gonna be fine."  
  
"I am," Lorelai nodded. "For once in my life, I'm not going to mess it up."  
  
"Good girl."  
  
"Don't go planning any weddings, Sookie," Lorelai said with a playful warning tone and narrowed eyes.  
  
"You know me too well," the redhead conceded.  
  
Lorelai sighed, and got up to get another cup of coffee.  
  
Sookie turned to look at her, afraid to ask, but she had said... "And after all that there's bad news?" she asked with a grimace.  
  
"Afraid so," Lorelai said, sitting back down. "But I'm not sure how much I should say. It's about Rory," she paused, lifting a hand. "She's okay, or least she will be eventually."  
  
Sookie looked perplexed.  
  
"She and Dean went too far last night."  
  
Sookie sucked in a breath. "Oooooh."  
  
Lorelai stared into her coffee cup. "Yeah."  
  
"I'm sorry, sweetie."  
  
"Me, too."  
  
"You gonna be okay?"  
  
"We'll work it out. What choice do we have?"  
  
Sookie nodded. "You know, if there's anything I can do..."  
  
"I know, but I think it's all me and her," she sighed.  
  
"I could kill Dean."  
  
"Luke already offered."  
  
"You told him?"  
  
"Well, yeah. I only told the two of you, because I trust you implicitly and you care so much about Rory. He was waiting on the front porch last night when we got back, and I just fell apart. Poor guy. I'm always crying all over him."  
  
"He wants to be there for you," Sookie reassured her.  
  
"I know. He told me."  
  
Sookie smiled, then sobered. "I'm sorry this happened all at once."  
  
"I'm not." At Sookie's shocked look, she explained. "If it had to happen, at least I've got Luke, you know? I might actually keep what little sanity I have left with him around."  
  
"Good luck with that," Sookie teased.  
  
Lorelai slapped her on the arm lightly. "Better get ready for breakfast, partner."


	3. Forgiveness

Lorelai entered the room she and Rory were sharing, and found her daughter sitting up in bed, Indian-style, contemplating her hands.  
  
"No Saturday morning cartoons?" Lorelai asked, trying to be light.  
  
"It's Sunday morning," Rory answered dully.  
  
"That's right. Who can keep up anymore?"  
  
Rory just shrugged.  
  
Lorelai sat down on the end of the bed.  
  
"I'm sorry, Mom. Not just about, well, you know... But the awful things I said to you. I didn't mean any of it," she said, starting to tear up.  
  
"Yes, you did, Rory. You may not have meant all of it, but there's some truth in every blow up, or people wouldn't blow up."  
  
"I -"  
  
Lorelai lifted a hand to stop her. "I know you're sorry, Rory, and I accept your apology. I'm your mother, I'm always gonna be your mother, and I'm going to love you whether you like it or not, babe.  
  
"But that doesn't change the fact that you resent me a little, whether you realize it or not. For the record, I wasn't upset that you had sex without telling me, but that you did it with Dean. Huge difference."  
  
"I know," Rory said, crying. "I don't resent you, I really don't. I was just mad at myself for being so stupid, and you were there." She swiped at her face.  
  
Lorelai sighed. "Rory, I don't know what to tell you. I laid it out for you last night, has that sunk in at all?"  
  
She nodded numbly. "I don't know what to do, Mom."  
  
"I know, hon, but that's why you've gotta figure it out."  
  
"I can't see Dean again. But he lives here, and I live here... This is a disaster," she said in panic. "What if he does leave Lindsay? Everyone will know it's because of me."  
  
"And there are the consequences," Lorelai stated, matter-of-factly. This being a mother thing was tough, and she found it startling how easy it had been when Rory was growing up. Only now that she was an adult had they hit their first real snag.  
  
Rory threw herself back down on the bed, and buried her head under the pillow. "Call Yale. I'm never coming out," she announced, her voice muffled.  
  
Lorelai wrestled the pillow away from her, and eyed her daughter. "Smothering yourself won't solve anything."  
  
"You'd be surprised."  
  
"Ha ha. Now get up and get dressed, we have breakfast to attend."  
  
"Moooom..."  
  
"Rory, you're not five. You didn't act that way when you _were_ five."  
  
She looked at her mother pleadingly, but for once Lorelai stood firm. She took her daughter's hand and pulled her into a sitting position.  
  
"We're still in the middle of the test run, okay? We cannot have things looking weird right now, no matter how much you want to go Garbo on me. I know you want to be alone this morning, but I promise after breakfast you're free. You can do whatever you want to do, and as soon as this day is over I'm all yours if you want or need me. If you don't, that's fine, too. I'll be here. But come on, Rory, I've got to find out if this place is running right, and that's going to take this second full day. Do this one little thing for me?"  
  
Rory really looked into her mother's eyes, and sighed. She knew she had to be there for her, just like she'd been there her whole life. This was her mother's life's work, and she knew, no matter the circumstances, she couldn't mess that up.  
  
"Okay," she gave in. "I'll eat breakfast. I can't promise I will fully enjoy it, or that it won't make a reappearance later..." Lorelai made a face at that. "But I'll eat. I'll smile. Maybe. I'll act as normal as possible, and everyone I know will still know that I'm not a virgin anymore."  
  
"Well, neither am I."  
  
"_Mom_."  
  
"No one's going to know, Rory. It doesn't come with a tattoo on your forehead."  
  
"It might as well."  
  
"You're weird, kiddo. C'mon, get up, get a shower, and things will start looking better. They almost have to at this point, right?"  
  
"You would think," Rory answered wryly. "But that doesn't necessarily make it fact."  
  
"That is not the optimist I know! Rory, as bad as things seem now, it's not the end of the world," she said, getting up and moving closer. "You made a mistake, and while I know that's pretty new territory for you, I also know you can make it through it. It isn't pretty, it isn't easy, but life goes on. Trust me, I'm the Queen of Mistakes, I know this."  
  
"You're not the queen, Mom. I know you want to be, but you're not," she said with a slight smile.  
  
"There's that smile! I love you, you know that, right? I've told you at least twice in the last ten years?"  
  
"I know, Mom, and it's been a lot more than twice. I love you, too."  
  
They hugged, and they both felt slightly better, even though they knew they were only at the beginning of dealing with everything that had happened.  
  
Lorelai tucked Rory's hair behind one ear, and sighed. "I'm going to go on down and see how things are going, and if you're not down in fifteen, I'm sending Kirk after you. Naked."  
  
Both of Rory's eyebrows raised questioningly.  
  
"I'll explain later. There'll be a lot of explaining to do later." 


End file.
